Comments on: Everything You Need to Know About Floor Sanding

By: Marina

Marina — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:23:59 +0000

The guy is extremely unstable and filled with shame/rage. I would say that he is a rageaholic and a drama queen.

He’s an adult, you cannot make him see a therapist or even influence him to see one. He’d have to recognize that his relationship is in big trouble, seriously at risk, and that you’re going to leave, take Chris, and you mean it. Unless he has something to lose, he will do nothing. He has no reason to, you have been tolerating his behavior and he figures you still will. He doesn’t mind if you complain about it, as long as he can keep doing it.
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By: Justme

Justme — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:21:59 +0000

He’s really unstable, you can’t ask for help without him trying to lay a guilt trip on you. How [or why] can you live with this stress he puts on you? Changes need to be made before it effects your health.
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My heart attack

By: stacy a

stacy a — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:19:59 +0000

Sounds like you have two babies. I don't know why you put up with this. Tell him to either do the work at home or shut up and hire someone. He needs to grow up before you get married.
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By: Jazzmin27

Jazzmin27 — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:17:59 +0000

You are complaining about your fiance and you still call him your fiance, you are a lot more crazy than he is, you make no sense and you show to be less intelligent for being engage to marry a man that you criticize, and you clearly don't love.
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By: Megg

Megg — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:15:59 +0000

Give him the truth and nothing else. The truth hurts...but you also learn from it. Maybe he'll take the constructive critisim and better himself.
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By: Kimberly G

Kimberly G — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 00:13:59 +0000

he is a man
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By: melaniecampbell

melaniecampbell — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:11:12 +0000

Fiance very reactive and defensive about everything!!?
My fiance is 31. he is a VERY defensive, highly reactive person. If he thinkg anyone is attacking him personally, or he feels his ego has been hurt, he FLIPS OUT. Like screaming "Yeah I’m a f—ing a–hole, I’m f—ing worthless, thats what you’re saying, I know, you don’t need to tell me!" and just goes OFF the deep end. If I do something like hiring someone to fix our leaky toilet because he hasn’t bothered, he goes nutty. Like "You are telling me I’m lazy and worthless, by hiring someone!" meanwhile it’s just because I want it DONE. He IS lazy, to the point where I DO hire people to come do things- like a landscaper for cutting the lawn, plumber fixed our toilet, and someone came over to fix our hardwood floors (they needed sanding and refinishing). He goes bananas every time because he says its basically me telling him hes a worthless bum because he "cant" do these things. I want to yell back- its NOT that you CANt its that you WONT!!
I am so tired of his defensiveness!
when I say to him "you really should spend some more one on one time with Chris (our 6 yr old son) he says "yeah yeah im a bad dad, i know, stop telling me about it, I’m worthless, you don’t need to rub it in".
Or when I say "Can you PLEASE fold this laundry? It needs to be done."– I get "yeah I guess it’s not enough I bust my a-s-s at work, I have to do this too so you don’t think I’m a total lazy jerk"
OR when I sai "can you start picking up after yourself, I’m so busy with work and the two kids I can’t be your maid too" he says "when you had kids that because your job, I didn’t pick it for you."
He’s just become really defensive and acts like everything anyone says is a total insult, and that everyone is out to get him and make him look like a jerk.
I can’t deal with walking on eggshells anymore trying not to hurt his EGO or feelings… how can I talk to him and get him to seek some counselling (which I think he really needs?)
Okay so I just talked to him about this and he says he doesn’t mean to get upset and defensive, that he just hates who he is, and that his whole life he has been treated like a loser, so he just thinks everyone thinks he IS a loser. He says he feels like everyone thinks hes a lazy good for nothing idiot.
SO I think this is some serious self esteem issues– how do I talk him into counselling for what appears to be an actual really intense issue with him??